Growing Up Part VII

The time spent in the UK, to me was absolutely wonderful. English culture dictates that proper etiquette is a must at all time.

It’s not the done thing to dig your nose, especially in public. My brother used to have that “disgusting” habit. I gave up telling him this because whenever I did so, he would chase me with one finger up his nose and would wipe that same finger on my face if he ever managed catch me. I don’t have to say how many times he succeeded in doing just that! How he could run so fast with a finger up his nose was still something that amazed me till today. I was glad that he stopped the habit after he was made to see how disgusting it was. Our friends would mimic him each time we saw him doing just that. The four of us would stop doing whatever we were doing, and dug our noses whenever he did. I was apprehensive at first knowing what he was capable of doing to me. But I acquired the courage with strength in numbers. I am proud to have contributed in making him into one of the most respectable and distinguished gentleman in the country today :)

My dad had a young English friend by the name of Michael who visited us each time when he came over from London. One afternoon, mum had poured both of them a cup of piping hot tea, dad’s favourite, stirred with condensed milk. Michael commented that the best way to drink hot tea was to blow on the tea to cool it. Now my dad, not one who would forgo an opportunity to enlighten the uninitiated of our Malay culture, told Michael that he had a much better and more effective way, and proceeded to demonstrate. He lifted his cup from the saucer, poured his tea onto the saucer with such grace, not a single drop spilt because he dragged the bottom of the cup across the edge of the saucer, and with one hand holding on to the cup and the saucer filled with tea delicately balanced with his other, started slurping it. As I was there watching my dad with pride at his expertise, I could see the smile on Michael’s face turned into disgust. Of course my dad thought nothing of it and neither did I as I had seen him doing that many a times especially when he was in a hurry. So this young brain of mine started to analyse what it was that Michael found repugnant. Was it the use of the saucer to drink from or slurping loudly? I deduced that it must have been drinking the tea from the saucer! What a genius I was with that analytical mind of mine. So from that day on, I have never poured my drinks onto a saucer to drink, but I have been known to slurp now and then, particularly when the drink was piping hot!

Michael was quite a disciplinarian. One afternoon, Bah told me to take my bath. As I was watching a TV programme half way, I ignored him. Seeing this, Michael told me to do as what my dad told me to. I didn’t reply but instead gave him one of my infamous look that meant “mind your own business”. How was I to know that Michael was an expert interpreter of facial expressions? Without saying a word, he picked me up bodily and all, carried me out of the house and placed me right in the middle of our backyard. You may ask what was the big deal, right? The big deal was that the whole of our backyard was full of nettle weeds. If any part of exposed skin happens to come in contact with it, it stings like being bitten by insects. That part of your skin would swell, became sore and itched. It was quite a painful experience. At that age, I was always in my short pants and the weeds were so tall that it reached up to my thighs. Michael had no problem as he was wearing long pants.

I was hurting badly, but I didn’t want Michael to have the pleasure of seeing me cry or asking for help. Without further due consideration to the pain I was experiencing, I bravely (although stupidly) walked toward the high fencing at the back of the yard, ignoring the agony as I waded through the nettles. I climbed up the wire fence until such height that I was free from those nasty weeds. Thereon, I slowly edged laterally with the aim of climbing down at the border of our backyard where the nettle field ended. All the while, my back was facing our house. I knew Michael was watching me from inside the house, and I smirked to myself knowing that I had beaten him at his game. Just as I was about to jump down from the fence in triumph and glory, Michael, out of nowhere, grabbed me and plunked me down right to where I was before. I was absolutely furious, but with grit and determination, I did the same thing again. This time I was more watchful, looking around me to make sure he wasn’t around to snatch me again. I succeeded this time, and with a smile head held up high, walked back towards the house, with my legs swollen and the pain unbearable.

As soon as I opened the door, Michael was there standing tall, blocking my entrance. He asked whether I had learned my lesson and was willing to apologise. I have always been a person with very few words and suffer no fools. I just glared at him. After about a minute of this mexican standoff, he decided then that I wasn’t about to relent, and the next thing I knew, I was dangling from his shoulder and again ended up right in the middle of recent acquaintance, the dreaded nettle field. I knew that this time, I wasn’t going to win this battle with him. But I was adamant not to concede victory to him. I remained standing there. This was strategically sound as each time I moved, my new found friends would strike with vengeance.

I remained standing there for about more than an hour I guessed because it had started to get dark. Besides not yielding defeat to Michael, I had another sore issue to content with that didn't make my situation any better. It was my brother. Every now and then, he would stick his head out of the window from inside the house and grinned stupidly at me. I know that grin very well after living with him my entire life! It was the same grin wrapping his face every time that I was scolded, or caned by mum for one reason or another. Same grin when I fell and landed in a puddle of mud on the way to school. Yes, that same stupid, sickly and annoying grin when both of us were one day jumping on the bed pretending it was a trampoline. When it came to my turn, after only one jump, the bed broke with a loud cracking sound! I was still crumpled on the broken bed when in came mum into the room with a bewildered look on her face. My face on the other hand, blended nicely like a chameleon against the backdrop of the white bed sheet. My brother somehow, and until today I can’t imagine how he did it, was sitting on his own unbroken bed, reading a book just before mum entered the room! That grin simply meant, “better you than me!”

Sorry for digressing. Where was I? Oh, right, I was standing in the middle of the nettle field in sheer agony not only from the pain but also from that grin……OK lets not get into that grin business again else I start rambling on more examples when that grin materialised on his face! Eventually, as the sky got darker, I saw Michael walking toward me. Without saying a word, he picked me up, gently this time, and carried me across his arms just like a baby, back inside the house. He told to sit down on the sofa and not to move. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

He came back shortly with a few green leaves from a tree he plucked outside our house. He folded one into a quarter, brought it up to his lips and spat on it. Then he started to wipe it on parts of my legs which were swollen most. I gaped at him in utter disgust and disbelief. This was the same gentleman who had looked revoltingly when my dad slurped his tea from the saucer with such grace and balance, but had thought nothing of swabbing his gross saliva all over my legs! Although I must admit the pain eased a bit when he did that.

When he was done, I stood up, still without a single word spoken, went to the bathroom and bathed. I had to! I wasn’t going to bed that night with all that saliva drying up on my legs. In the bathtub, I mused over the event of the whole afternoon. What a waste! It all started with me not taking my bath when Bah told me to, and here I was doing exactly just that with vigour, to get rid of Michael’s foul spit!

I must say that after that day, Michael and I became the very best of friends. He would come over or phoned to know how I was doing. Twice, he took just me to visit London where I stayed overnight at his flat after an enjoyable day. We both enjoyed classical music where he had a good collection in pad. I guessed that he respected me for showing grit and courage in adversity, and I too learnt to respect him for his sincerity, kindness and friendship.

So all ended up well and the episode closed on a much brighter note…..except for that grin……grrr!!!!